I mentioned last week that I had some meets to share regarding our Adoption journey, and I’m here today to spill the beans.
It isn’t really the kind of “beans” that I’d like to be spilling, but beans are beans, people. And beaners can’t be choosers.
Nevermind. Sometimes I get carried away with a common saying and just can’t disengage.
Studly and I took a huge first step a few weeks ago, and actually started contacting several organizations regarding adoption (organizations being an all-inclusive term to refer to facilitators, law centers, and agencies). Now, this may not seem like a big deal to you, but for us… it absolutely IS a big deal. It’s as though we’re finally putting our money where our mouth is.
To be clear, though… we’re not putting money anywhere just yet. (See? Another saying and now I’m just confusing people again. *smack! Get it together, Hope!)
We contacted several different organizations we had begun to identify by scouring website after website after website… I think you get the picture. Basically, thanks to the internets (thank you Al Gore!), there are a lot of resources on adoption.
Honestly, (and this may sound crazy, but its true) we were able to rule out a bunch rather quickly after only briefly visiting their website. For us, a cheaply created or poorly maintained website indicated come less-than-desirable qualities for an organization to which we’d be paying tens of thousands of dollars to help us grow our family. So if they can’t even build or maintain what I imagine to be the primary means of getting business in this day and age, then I’m not sure we are interested in digging any further.
Although we plan to do much more research before submitting any applications, we did find about 3 good organizations as our starting point.
After contacting them, we found that 1 was not licensed in our state even though their website initially said that they did (maybe this was more recent?), 1 sent us a good-sized packet of information through e-mail, and 1 shipped us an information kit through the mail.
Out of the 2 that actually sent us information, only 1 asked us our income right off the bat. This may not be a big deal, but it is a bit annoying. Quite a few agencies charge fees based on your income, and I find that to be a bunch of crap. Call me crazy, but that shouldn’t be an initial question. Should it be part of your home study and overall assessment as to whether or not you can provide for the child? 100%. Absolutely. No question. Should it be what you use to determine your fee schedule? Heck no! Mostly because you don’t know the entire situation just based off of a single number on a piece of paper. Sorry – already jumping up onto a soap box. *jumps down… *deep breaths…
Where was I?!
Oh right. The 1 that asked our income information right off of the bat was more local, and also happened to be the one that sent us some information through e-mail. I’m fine with the fact that it came through e-mail, but there’s something to be said about snail mail that just seems more personal. Regardless, the conversation I had with the local organization was pretty short and not very helpful. She kept making statements to indicate that all of our questions would be answered… and they’d be more than happy to talk with us… etc etc, but I was already asking questions and those weren’t actual answers. I did try to get down to the reasoning and just asked if they needed to set up some kind of meeting with me and Studly, thinking that maybe this was why she wasn’t being as helpful, and then the truth came out – “all we needed to do” to have this conversation was to submit our application.
I’m not going to pay to apply with you before I even have information regarding your organization, what it provides, it’s process and average timeline, etc. Who would do that? Well, there must be some people who would do it because it seemed to be their standing policy. Umm… no thanks.
As I’m sure you can already see from the story so far, it isn’t all that hard to weed out the non-contenders. And though the list of what’s acceptable would absolutely change from family to family, there’s already going to be something that is identified as a non-negotiable and you’ll find that these things can really help to thin the crowd of options pretty quickly.
So that brings me to the final organization that we contacted – the one that mailed us an information kit. One of the perks of this organization is that they are nationally licensed, meaning they can work with adoptions in any of the 50 states. And that translates to more placements each year – averaging around 300. I’m not sure if you’ve done any research on these numbers, but that’s a really high number of placements for one organization. We reviewed the information kit that they sent us, which included: a DVD, additional information on their organization, an example of the packet that’s given to potential birth mothers in the selection process, an application, a wall calendar, and a personal letter from the lady that I spoke with on the phone during my initial contact with them. It was full of helpful stuff.
During my initial phone conversation, and before we got the information packet, they also set us up with an appointment to video-chat with our adoption consultant. They were so well organized, very informative, and they took me seriously from the first moment we spoke – which was very nice.
One would think that having taken the step to contact an adoption organization to begin would indicate to them that we were serious about getting information. It’s pretty sad that only 1 of the many phone calls that I made left me with the impression that this was the case and I wasn’t just another blank face on the other end of the millionth phone call they’d had that day.
Anywho…. fast forward to Monday evening when we had our video-chat consultation.
It. Was. Sooo helpful.
We both felt pretty comfortable with her and she was very patient with our ridiculous amount of questions (correction: MY ridiculous amount of questions). Studly and I both answered some of her questions and after it was over (over an hour later), we both felt as though it really helped to answer our lingering questions and put things into perspective for us.
Surprisingly, we hadn’t had to submit any forms or pay a single penny to just have a full conversation with someone.
And I was starting to think that’d be difficult to find!
Between the information that we gathered from this consultation, and the research we have conducted over the past several months (though to be honest, adoption is something we’ve been familiar with for many years, due to my work in the pregnancy clinic a few years before we moved)… it all adds up to a long list of things to think through and consider.
We’re still digesting it all, really, and have already had at least 2 lengthy conversations about everything just since Monday’s meeting.
I have a lot to share with you, but this post is already getting a little long, so I’ll leave you with this for now.
Lessons learned so far in this stage:
- Each adoption organization is not created equally.
- Also, there is so much to think about and consider that a lot of the time… it feels more like a business deal than it does adopting a child. And that’s tough. So much of our heart and emotion is in this, but we haven’t even made it to the point, yet, where that really comes into play.
- You need money. No question. BUT there are a ton of resources (grants, low-interest and even interest free loans, tax credits, employer contributions, etc) to help you get all of that money together.
- There’s still a lot to do before we can submit an application anywhere.
That last bullet may be the hardest to swallow, but it’s really important. We’re not doing anyone any favors by “just” submitting the application.
The biggest lesson so far is this: You need to be honest with yourself about whether or not you’re ready.
But that’s definitely another post for another day.
I look forward to sharing more of this piece of our lives with y’all soon! And in the meantime, any other adoptive families out there with some pointers? We’ll take all the help we can get, for sure.
We’ve talked about adoption for years. It’s just been “the plan” for quite a while, now. But it’s always been an “in the not-too-distant-future” kind of plan.
Not “today” yet because:
- we are getting ready to move to another state
- we have a ton of debt to pay down
- we have to save up the money for the costs involved
- we can’t afford for me to stay home full-time
- and whatever else comes up that week
It’s not at all like we were putting it off. On the contrary, in fact. We have been ready for a really long time. Both of us. But I think if I’m completely honest, we’ve just been waiting for everything to align perfectly before “pulling the trigger”… and I think we are really realizing that this will probably never happen.
So we had a really good talk earlier this week and…
We are ready.
And this time, I don’t mean ready to just keep being ready. But we’re ready to start down this path. Ready to take our Baby Steps… steps toward bringing home our little one.
We are going to take our first step off of the path we are currently on and start really putting the work in to make this happen.
Currently, we are researching domestic adoption agencies (and actively looking for recommendations, if anyone has any!) and seeking out updated information on costs, especially since we’re still new to Texas. And we’re also hoping to start collecting information on any/all available tax breaks, grants, adoption loans, etc. and to see what we can qualify for with our combined income and whatnot. And we are counting people at these places, too. Which is a huge step forward for us.
It’s really exciting. I’m not sure why, but it feels so much more… real! Submitting requests for adoption information packets from various organizations is quite an awesome step for us. It doesn’t just feel like yet another thing sitting in our tomorrow basket, but it feels like we’re really on our way. We’ll actually be answering questions and filling out applications and… really, truly getting the ball rolling. Eek!
It will definitely take time – the average wait for domestic adoption within the US is around 2 years. And for those of you unaware, this is why I tend to look at little elephants as a kind of symbol for our little one, as the gestational period for an elephant is about 21 months.
So here we are ready and oh so eager to get this show on the road. It may not be how we always pictured things playing out, but that’s life, right? And if we always wait for things to be perfect before we do anything worth while, then we’ll never get there.
Please pray for us. Please check in with us (I will be MORE than thrilled to answer questions at any time, trust me). And if nothing else, stick around to see how everything plays out. I can’t wait to share this journey with you guys!
I know I’m a little late, here, because most people watch shows when they actually come on instead of waiting, but what can I say?! I’m a slacker.
When it came to the final season of Parenthood, I was a super slacker. But frankly, it was intentional.
I love this show.
Like… I LURVE it. For serious. And when I watch it, one episode never seems to be enough for me. So then I tend to “save up” and watch at least 2 at a time… especially when it got close to the finale.
It’s been one of the only Dramas that I have watched from start to finish and still wanted more. And even though there have been other Dramas that I’ve enjoyed, they don’t compare. It’s such a beautiful show. It was always so real, instead of just the typical hollywood, in your face, constant or overly-liberal… yada yada yada. It was just real! It showed multiple sides to real issues. It just met people where life actually happens, and not just where it gets people’s attention… and that alone is what then got people’s attention, I think.
Basically, if you haven’t seen the show, then you should absolutely watch it. And start from the beginning, because there is just so much that you do NOT want to miss.
And if you do follow the show and haven’t seen the final season and/or the show finale, then DO NOT KEEP READING!
The ending to this show was absolutely beautiful. It’s very rare that a show can wrap things up for its viewers, and then to do it well… that is practically unheard of. But this show? Oh. My word. It was so perfect.
I love that Sarah and Hank got married. It was perfect. And their wedding was SO very them and this family.
I loved and so appreciated the peaceful, yet respectable way that they showed Zeek’s passing.
I adore that they jumped forward for everyone, too, and gave us a glimpse into the future –
– Amber’s man with his own child (or their child together?) and still bringing little Zeek’s father back into the picture to show that he got his life together and spent time with little Zeek and was on good terms with Amber and her man…
– Crosby running the Luncheonette and having Amber working with him, then seeing him with his kids and a future-pregnant Jasmine in the studio together…
– The Bravermen 4 finding Adam’s perfect place as Headmaster of Chambers Academy when Julia finds her dream job with the non-profit and then Max getting his diploma…
– The Grahams… Joel and Julie not only being back together and adopting Victor’s half-sister, but then seen happily celebrating together at a future Christmas with even a 4th baby…
– Camille taking the trip and visiting the little french bed and breakfast that Zeek tried to surprise her with earlier in the season…
– And finally, the entire family playing baseball on the field where they sprinkled some of Zeek’s ashes together…
… All of this while you even listened to a much more melodic version of the Show’s own theme song playing over everything (originally Bob Dylan’s “Forever Young”).
And I loved every minute of this show.
From the beginning, this show stole my heart with its realness and it’s fearlessness in the handling of very emotional and difficult topics –
– The struggle in pinpointing, diagnosing, and then learning to live with Max’s diagnosis of Asperger’s syndrome…
– Crosby’s period of growing up, from finding out he had a son to suddenly trying to become a father and then a husband, which he wasn’t so natural with…
– Sarah’s journey in finding herself as her children grew and she learned that being a single mother wasn’t her only identity…
– How parenting styles differ from parents to their children and when parents become grandparents, they are sure that they know the best way to do everything and don’t keep that to themselves when watching how their kids fall into those new parenting roles…
– Kristina’s breast cancer diagnosis, treatment, and remission and her meeting and watching others that weren’t so lucky…
– Adoption as a whole… thinking you are selected to adopt a baby and then having that plan shattered when the decision is reversed, the real difficulties of adopting an older child and not pretending it’s all easy to suddenly assume an older child as your own, especially when you have other children… and then the sudden possibility of adopting another child, because adoption isn’t something you just pick up and go with randomly like finding our your pregnant is…
– Amber going through the somewhat typical phases of not wanting to listen to a thing her mother or grandparents said, and then acting out and rebelling, and then reeling from those choices and finally discovering more of who she wants to be, and then falling into making some of the same mistakes that her mother made and almost hating herself for it before realizing she can still learn and grow…
– Joel and Julia’s marriage troubles… between whether or not to be a stay-at-home or working mother, to the stress that’s put on a marriage when both careers are going full force and entailing long hours, to moments of doubt in trusting each other and then ultimately to unfaithfulness…
– Camille and Zeek growing older and wanting different things.. Zeek wanting to just enjoy their life the way it is without the requirements of a job, and Camille’s desire to travel and see the world and downsize…
I know I’ve missed so, so many things with this list, but this show – it was just so full of REAL. Life isn’t scripted, and although this show obviously was, they did an amazing job of catching you off guard at times and choosing to be real and genuine when you thought for sure that you’d be able to predict a typical, hollywood style situational play out.
I’ve said it once, but I’ll say it again – if you haven’t watched this show, then you should. Even though I’ve talked through much of it, it’s still something that you should absolutely see for yourself. It’s on Hulu, for sure, but I’m convinced it’s probably almost everywhere. But if you’re going to watch it, do so from the beginning, because it’s just so full of awesome.
I’ve gone on and on about this show, but it’s just really that awesome. And for once, a show was wrapped up in such an amazing way that you couldn’t possibly be unhappy with how it finished. That alone is a good reason to watch it, if you ask me.
Do you watch Parenthood? Did anyone else see the finale? What shows are y’all watching these days? Because I am now in the market for a new one to fill the void.
Studly and I finally had some much needed time out and about together. We’ve just had so many little things (and some not-so-little things, too) popping up lately that we haven’t made the time for each other that we really should have. But that all changed today.
It was nothing big, but it was just what we needed. Lunch and a few hours wandering through stores, picking things out, and trying things on… nothing more than just some good, quality time together. And it was glorious. But that’s not really the point of this post.
While we were at lunch, we talked. And that was probably the best part. We shared what’s been on our hearts and minds, lately, and talked about the future. Among other things, we discussed how things always seem to pop up and that waiting for the “right time,” something illusive and practically nonexistent, would mean never taking that step toward what we want. Toward a big reason for us moving here. Toward a dream that we’ve had for quite some time.
So although we aren’t diving in and actually doing anything right away, we’ve decided that we will finally start actively researching domestic adoption in Texas.
This makes it so much more real, ladies… SO REAL!!
We’ve got a lot to do regarding our financial situation, thanks to the things that have popped up recently that we weren’t prepared for, but frankly – we still don’t even know what the process or laws specific to Texas even look like. We even have to figure out if we’ll use an agency, and which one. We’ll have to make some difficult, serious, very honest decisions about what, if any, restrictions we will make on anything. And then we’ve still gotta save up enough money to be able to fund the whole thing. It’s quite the list. But today’s decision is really just to take that first step into making it all a reality. But that first step in not only a doozy… it’s also super meaningful.
We’re taking the first step towards finally becoming parents. To no longer just being Hope and Studly, but mommy and daddy. Finally.
They say the average wait time for domestic adoption is somewhere around 2 years… which, oddly enough, is about the same as the typical gestation of a baby elephant. So that has become our symbol. A symbol of our future. Of our family. Of our someday baby.
It’s kind’ve like a symbol of hope.
And hope can be trying, at times. Can’t it? There are days it seems so far away. Days when it seems pointless. Like you’re just wasting your energy and emotion on something that may never happen.
But our hope endures.
I’ll be sure to keep you guys posted on things as we work through them. There’s definitely a lot on that list, so… there won’t be a shortage of things to share. Just be patient with me as it’ll take some time. But feel free to check in with me! Ask questions and I’ll be more than happy to answer them, too… that’s a promise!
These days, I’m just trying to take things one step at a time… and as they say – the journey of thousand miles begins with a single step.
I guess it’s time for a little update on the babymaker.
But before I begin, you should just know that this is one of those “Bonus Information” kind of posts… so consider yourself warned.
So I had to get a few tests run again last week.
I haven’t had a cycle since December, and since it’s April… well… it was long overdue.
Fun fact: If you go too long without having a period, the lining of your uterus can get to a point where it’s potentially precancerous, so it’s important not to ignore the issue. Before doing anything crazy, the doctor will check the thickness of the lining, probably by ultrasound.
In my case, this is definitely not the first time this has happened. And having PCOS makes me more likely to skip cycles, since my eggs tend to hang around the ovaries, attach themselves, and become cysts. (Apparently my ovaries are of the LaZBoy variety… Why else wouldn’t they want to leave, right?!)
Anywho, I called my OBGYN to chat about it and left a message with the nurse. I really just expected a call saying that I needed to go back on Metformin or go through a cycle of progesterone, again, but they actually said that I needed to come in and that Dr. G had made time for me just a few days later.
This is a good time to mention that I love my doctor. Loooooove him. It took many many years and into the double digits of doctors before finding someone that talked with me and not just at me. Someone who trusted my background and knowledge of the subjects at hand, based on my work at a pregnancy clinic and volunteering in the L&D ward at a local hospital. Someone who didn’t scoff, roll an eye when I said that I was still a virgin at 19 (when I finally found him), and go in for an “inspection” at full throttle before realizing I wasn’t lying and toning it down several notches (youch!). Someone who didn’t ask me 19 different ways if I was at all sexually active, to include the “extra-curricular versions” of the term itself.
Side rant: It’s seriously soooo so so important to like your OBGYN. You need to have a doctor that you trust and with whom you can discuss your situation and treatment options. And I’m fortunate enough to have a phenomenal doctor that I recommend to anyone and everyone. I’ve been seeing him for something like 8+ years and wish he’d move with us so that I didn’t have to go through finding a doctor again. (waaaaaahhhhh!!)
Back to the nitty gritty.
I went to my appointment, still thinking that I’d walk out with a prescription for Metformin or progesterone again. But instead, Dr. G and I had a good talk about not just the current situation, but also about Studly and I’s TTC journey. He asked how I was doing… not just how I was doing. I really appreciated that, since it’s not necessarily something that a lot of doctors do. I also told him about our upcoming move and how that could effect things. We talked about what we’d tried in the past, treatment plans for both the lack-of-cycle issue and TTC, and on the way out he made some jokes about the Great State of Texas before telling me he was happy for us and that we’d love it there. All in all in was a good visit. I walked out with orders to get my TSH (thyroid) and HCG (pregnancy) levels checked again, as well as an ultrasound of my ovaries and endometrial lining (both a pelvic and a transvaginal… blech). So basically, my 30 minute appointment turned into an all-day affair.
Lucky for me it was all sunshine and rainbows. Well… There weren’t a ton of rainbows, but it really was a beautiful, sunny day. So the wait between appointments wasn’t so painful, in the end. 😉
Anywho, 2 short days later I got the call with all of my test results, and to my surprise it was actually Dr. G that called to deliver the info, not a nurse like I’d actually expected. (Have I mentioned that I love this doctor?!). Everything came back as expected – TSH was normal, HCG was negative, and my endometrium was thicker than would be ideal, so I was going to do a round of progesterone to kick start a cycle.
Well, I started the progesterone on Friday and now I’m just waiting for the desired effect. Shouldn’t take too long… at least that’s typically how things work with my body (excluding only one time, that is).
At the appointment, we also talked about future plans, such as whether or not I’d take Metformin again. We discussed my experience when we attempted a round of Clomid a few years back (no thank you) and his suggestion to try injectables over Clomid if we wanted another go in the future, since they can be more easily regulated day-to-day than the Clomid can (which means fewer, less-intense side-effects, thankthegoodLord).
So I’ll have to give you the scoop on our past attempt with Clomid, as well as the low down on everything else we’ve attempted while TTC… and even the things we’ve opted not to try, on our journey. But alas, that’s it for now.
What’ve you guys been up to? Feeling healthy these days? Do you like your OBGYN or any of your other doctors? Spill!
I know that I’ve already told you about my desire to be a mother and how it comes with it’s ups and downs.
Honestly? Right now, I’m in a good place.
We have a lot going on, right now – We are getting ready for a big (BIG) move. We are getting ready to finally sell the house that we are currently renting out. We are making some pretty big life changes, and that’s all good.
Maybe I’m just distracted by all that’s going on, but regardless… I’m good.
I know that it’ll happen in Gods perfect timing, and that timing will be WAY better than my own “now now now!” perspective. And I know that very day that passes means that I’ll appreciate the moment when it finally happens that much more.
I also know that the fact that we’re spending our time bettering hearts, our relationship, our health… It just puts us in an altogether better place for when it does finally happen and we do become parents.
There will absolutely be rough times. But right now… This is one of the good ones.
And I am eating it up as much as possible.
I promise to stay real with you. To share the tough times, just as I’m sharing the good ones (but probably with more detail).
In the meantime, I’m praying for those of you who are still waiting on your littles, like we are. I’m praying for those of you who aren’t at a point yet where you want littles. And I’m praying for those of you who don’t ever plan to have littles of your own and are good with just being you. Whichever stage you’re in, you are loved and you are valued.
Life is way too crazy to go it alone, so I’m glad you’ve chosen to share it with me. *Hugs
I’ve shared about my desire to be a mother, but I’m a full-disclosure kind of gal and honestly, I left out quite a lot of information about our journey to make it happen.
Long story short, I have something called PCOS or PolyCystic Ovarian Syndrome. It boils down to the fact that rather than releasing eggs during ovulation each month, my eggs stay in or around the ovary and attach themselves, becoming cysts. There are many variations to PCOS, which is why it’s referred to as a syndrome, but the truth of the matter is that the many variations also make it hard to pinpoint to exact treatment necessary to prevent this from happening in each case diagnosed. That’s a very short and condensed version, but it is what it is.
The fact of the matter is that many people with PCOS are still able to conceive without medication or medical intervention. In some cases, even just simple low level meds are all that are needed to result on conception. Then in other cases, whether there are additional medical issues combined with the diagnosis of PCOS or not, some women still have varying levels of difficulty or just cannot conceive on their own.
Enter such options as hormonal injections, IUI (InterUterine Insemination), or IVF (InVitro Fertilization)… and honestly quite a few other options anywhere in between. But I am not an expert on infertility or fertility struggles. In fact, I know more about fertility and reproduction than the not-so-successful side of things, thanks to an over-fascination in the human body growing up combined with my work in a pregnancy clinic a few years back.
Anywho, we’ve tried a couple different medications to try and get my body working the way that it should, but not much has stuck for us. I decided early on that I didn’t want to do anything super invasive and Studly agreed. Not only because I’m a big fan of adoption, but also because I’ve watched people go through various injections and procedures and although it is effective much of the time, it also comes with some pretty crazy side effects and can make you crazy emotional.
Look – I’m a chick, so I’ve got more than enough emotion to tide me over from now until the cows come home. Just ask my husband. But when it all boiled down, it’s just not something that Awe wanted to put ourselves through.
At the end of the day, it’s a 100% personal decision. We don’t think that there’s anything wrong with someone choosing a different path, because they need to figure out what’s best for them and their journey to having a family.
So here we are – trusting in God’s timing and his plan for our lives. Trusting that he’s put this desire in our hearts for a reason… and in time, he’ll make it happen and it’ll be good… and perfect… better than we ever could dream up in our short-sided minds.
I want to be a mommy.
I’ve wanted to be one ever since I was a little girl. I’m not sure where it originated, to be truthful, but I just always remember it being there – the desire… the dream. And now, it’s still nothing more than an ache. I’ve been been married for over 6 years. We haven’t been “preventing” at all, for the entirety of our marriage. The truth of the matter is that it just hasn’t happened, yet.
I’m not naive enough to think it’ll be all grins and giggles. I know I’ll be sleep-deprived, and constantly busy, and cleaning up puke and leaky diapers at 3am…. I get that. But that changes nothing of the desire.
Anyone who’s been in my position knows that you go through seasons. There are days, sometimes several at a time… weeks even… where your heart just hurts. It’s hard to describe. There’s almost this pit, but it’s not in your stomach. Have you ever had a pit in your stomach? Now imagine it’s moved up further into your chest. That’s about the best I can describe it. It’s just an intense longing that is hard to satisfy. And it kind’ve sneaks up on you.
But then, most of the time, you have the “other” days. The days where it’s more-so on the backburner than it is front and center. It’s never fully gone, but it’s not all-time consuming, either. At least not for me. And I’m grateful for that. I’ve known women that obsess over their hurt and I’ve never seen it produce positive results – not in their marriage… not in their friendships… not with their families… not even just within themselves.
I’m so very glad to be grounded and to have a husband that ensures I stay that way. He’s very compassionate when I’m going through the rough times, but he also never fails to gently remind me that making motherhood or a family into my idol can do no one any good. And he’s right. So I give myself 10 more minutes to hurt and be sad, and then I wipe my eyes and smile, becuase I know the God of the universe. And I know that his plan for my life – our life – is way better than my short-sighted wishes.
Though I can’t speak for anyone else in a similar situation, the fact of the matter is that the majority of my time is comprised of “other” days. And I’m not typically one to be sent spiraling into a rough patch by a baby commercial or lifetime movie. So, the “other” days are really the norm. But even in the midst of them, the hope flickers on… the hope that one day, I’ll be able to talk about how worth the wait it was…. How much I learned through the years of praying and learning to be patient and remaining faithful.
Until then, I just keep dreaming and pushing through the rough, ache-filled, painful times, and I stay grateful for the season that I’m in now… Doing my best to enjoy the time we have now that’s just for the two us… And making sure that I don’t ever allow myself to become obsessed with something that will one day come, and it’ll be a much more perfect time than I think now would be.