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A Blank Page

So much changed for us this past year.  And yet so much stayed the same.  But I hope to change a lot of that.

When we found out we were moving, it was like the arrival of our “tomorrow basket”.  We’d had all of these hopes and dreams and constantly seemed to put them into our “tomorrow basket” because they never seemed to be things that would happen anytime soon.

But moving meant that we could make strides towards these things.  And much of that is still true, but… life got in the way.  As it somehow always seems to.

Things like:

– finding a new church

– filing for adoption and finally starting a family

– setting down roots in a new home and city

– finally picking up hobbies I’ve wanted to get into for yeeaars

Some of that may seem silly, but it was all in that tomorrow basket, and a tomorrow basket never seems to have a date on it.  When things like this just linger around for year after year, the likelihood of them ever happening just seems to fade.  A tomorrow basket often feels more like an “if we’re lucky” basket or a “yeah right” basket.  And anytime you see or think of something in that basket, it kind’ve all floods you and you just feel that hopelessness flood right in with it.

But here we were – ready to dive right into that basket… on the brink of tomorrow.  And then… life.

First we needed to unpack and just get settled.  Then the dog got injured and we spiraled into debt unlike any we’d been in since we were first married.  And our jobs weren’t what we’d hoped they’d be.  Then my sister-in-law moved in with us and that seriously turned our world upside down (and not in the best of ways).  Then we discovered that family was coming to stay with us for two weeks at Christmas and the term “crunch-time” seemed like the understatement of the year.  Then they arrived and we were working part time during their visit, and then coming home to entertaining and no personal time.  And now they’re finally gone (except for my sister-in-law, of course) and we’re just completely exhausted.

So I sit here, and I think about our tomorrow basket.  What can we do to make it finally happen?  How can I get our eyes back on those things and somehow, someday make them less of a dream and more of a reality?

Something I’ve never really gotten into is the reason for this blog and the meaning behind it’s name.  It may not seem that crazy of a thing to admit, but my name actually isn’t Hope.  But that’s something I’m trying to grow more of every day.  So while trying to harvest more of it as we look to our “tomorrow basket”… I, Hope, am trying (read: (v) attempting).  Trying to do many things, but mostly just trying to be hopeful.  Also, Hope itself is constantly trying (read: (adj.) , difficult, stretching, testing).  There’s so much we are working towards, not unlike anyone reading this I’m sure… but life’s full of difficulty.  No matter what you strive for, there’s work involved… and there’s power in the journey. And one journey that’s brought me to finally starting this blog is our journey toward starting a family.  We are trying.  There’s many ways to grow a family, and we plan to head in the direction of adoption.  But in this brand new state, there’s much to learn.  So much is different from the state we moved from and that puts us at the beginning.

Anywho, that’s where we are right now. Trying – attempting, striving, stretching… all of the above.  Just pushing toward better versions of ourselves… in the hopes that doing so will someday turn our tomorrow basket our today basket… and then our yesterday basket.

So this week… this year… we are trying.

~Hope

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Lost and Found

I know I’ve been MIA for a ridiculous amount of time.  And I actually have a LOT to fill you in on, so today… I plan to write up a bunch of posts on a myriad of subjects and set them to post over the coming weeks.  I’m just being lazy at home, after all, so I have no excuse.

And since I finally am on the other side of the holidays, I hope to be able to get back tiny a groove of posting regularly.  I know I know… nothing you haven’t heard before, but goodness – sometimes life really gets in the way of my blogging.  How rude!  😛

Okay.  Some coming posts for sure, but hopefully I haven’t lost those of you who did read before.  Sorry for being such a slacker, but I’m eager to jump back in and catch up on what’s been going on with you guys.

Hugs!

~Hope

When It Rains

…it just freaking POURS, doesn’t it?!  My goodness – lately I feel like I’m being reminded of me how true that saying really is. The short version:

  • My dog has pulled a double Sam Bradford and torn BOTH of his ACL, as well as both of his meniscus (did you even know dog’s had knee caps? cause I sure didn’t before this).
  • Sister is in the hospital after rushing to the ER, and now they are inducing her a week earlier than planned. Everyone is doing fine thus far and he should be here ANY minute now, but the tickets I bought to be there next week couldn’t be moved up… so I’m not there for it happening, which sucks. But I’m glad I’ll get to be there at all – I wouldn’t be able to go if we hadn’t already bought the tickets before the dog got hurt.
  • Cousin had an emergency c-section just less than 48 hours ago and had her baby early, too. Everyone is fine but what a crazy week!
  • We are having some random issue with our fire alarm system at home, which is obviously not fun. We need them working properly, but can’t figure out what’s randomly setting them off!
  • We are really struggling financially. Just a few days ago, we were starting to make plans for furniture and paint, etc… but now with this over $7k vet bill, we are barely able to even pay for the surgeries that the pup needs.
  • Still struggling to find my place at work. I’m still so happy we moved here, but it’s not quite been what I expected in that regard.
  • Still adjusting to my SIL living with us. It’s been a weird transition and more difficult for me than I initially anticipated or prepared myself for.

So yeah… it’s been a rough few weeks. Frankly, I’m having a rough go lately with my emotions, too. I’m not like breaking out into tears randomly or anything (thankfully), but I’m just feeling gummy and not as happy as I usually am. I know all of this is temporary, and I have NO doubt that God will provide and we’ll be okay financially, but it’d be a lie to say that I’m not going through a little bit of a rough patch lately.

 

Prayers and well wishes would be awesome and much appreciated.  I’ll do my best to catch you up on everything in more detail, but this might be all I have in me for the moment.  Who knows… maybe I’m just overdue for a good cry.

Oh yeah – and all of this lately is reminding me that I’ve never really explained the name of the blog… especially since it’s got so many meanings. Ah well. Maybe I can distract myself some this weekend with that.

 

Much love!
~Hope

Snapadoodledoo

I’ve always had an appreciation for Photography.  It’s been on my long list of aspiring talents for quite some time, but never ranked high enough to truly be given any attention.  But then…

An acquaintance of mine posted on Facespace that they were going to be moving cross-country (I guess it’s a big year for that in our circles?) and needed many many much moola. She was offloading quite a few things that she a) didn’t use very much, b) wouldn’t need post move, and/or c) had to get rid of to reduce distractions as she went back to school. Lucky for me, this included a nice, beginner level DSLR for only $300… AND she was throwing in a telephoto lens to go with it, as well as several beginner photography DVDs and two carrying cases. It was really a hard deal to pass up.

So I didn’t!

I bought the thing, and now just need to get the hang of it. I no longer have a ton of boxes to unpack, and since I have a working tv again, I don’t have a whole lot of excuses for not popping in those DVDs and exercising my shutter finger.

Since I’m ready to start planning things out for decorating around this plizace, it’s time to start snapping some pictures to share with you all as well. Hopefully then the context will help it all make sense, since Lord knows my brain never seems to.

I’m not looking to become a professional photographer, or anything, but I’d like to keep from sharing posts with blurry, oddly-lit pics. Also, I’d like to be able to frame and hang photos that I’ve taken myself, without it being so obvious.

So that’s that. Anyone have any tips or suggested tools to get the hang of this thing quickly? What’s the best way to learn to take crisp photos? Any experienced photographers out there that may have some pointers for me?

Shoot!    (heh… sorry. I’m a sucker for a good pun)
~ Hope

Sanity Check: Results Pending

What an absolutely crazy couple of weeks!

At last post, Studly had just found out about a position in Texas with his company. Well, here I sit, Studly napping on the couch next to me, getting ready for our last night together. He leaves tomorrow morning!

Things had been moving along at quite a slow pace, but now?! Things are staring to get crazytown!

– Our tenants moved out of the townhouse last Monday, and once Studly leaves it’ll be a mad dash to prep and list the house.
– I have to start going through all of the rooms in the house, pulling things out of drawers and shelves, etc, to be able to evaluate what will be packed and what will get chucked or donated.
– Sometime this week, I’ll be confirming our pack-out and load-up dates with the moving company (fingers crossed there are no issues getting our requested dates!).
– When we’ve confirmed the dates, I’ll be buying plane tickets to fly my Mother-in-love out here to the East Coast so that she can drive down to Texas with me and the Pup, and then we’ll fly her back home. Road triiiiiip!!
– I leave in less than 2 weeks for a 10-day house-hunting trip to our new city, where I’ll temporarily be reunited with Studly and we’ll be checking out the area and quite a few potential houses.
– Once I return, things will be even crazier as I run all over the place to gather medical records, prepare for the trip and pack-up, and say goodbye to my baby sister who’s also leaving the state this month.
– The following week, Lord willing, will be the multi-day pack-out and then I wave “bye bye” to our stuff, which will take around 11 days to get to our new home, for some reason.
– Just days later, my Mother-in-love will arrive and off we’ll go to reunite with Studly and to our new home.

Holy goodness… All of this in just one month! Aaahhh!! Wish me luck and looooots of sanity, will ya?

Take care.
~ Hope

Little By Little

As most of you know, we are preparing for a huge move in the coming months, as our family relocates to Texas.

One of our biggest hurdles in getting there and getting settled is in finding Studly a job, since it’s my employer that’ll be relocating us. His company has positions there, but being able to find one that’s not only available for him, but is also a good fit – that’s another situation altogether.

Well… Not anymore.

Today, Studly was contacted by a POC from his company’s office in a Texas and, as it turns out, they not only have a position that he’d be a perfect fit for, but they actually need him to start at the beginning of June! Translation: he would be moving down there about a month before my tentative departure date.

How insane is that?!

Man… God sure knows how to remind me who’s in charge whenever I start to worry.

I wasn’t losing sleep over it….. Not yet anyway. But I WAS concerned that we may have some financial difficulties if he wasn’t able to find something quickly enough.

But seriously, though… Not only is there a position for him at all, down there, but it means there’s no gap at ALL in his employment.

AND

We will be receiving a second relocation package through his company.

How does this kind of thing even happen?!

I’m not sure that I can adequately convey how rare this situation is. Before today, we were told that his company would not even begin to look for a position for him until I have my official travel orders. And I’m not even close (much to my chagrin). But now? It doesn’t even remotely matter.

I just cannot believe how incredibly things are working out.

My God is greater!

Squee!!

Ok. Sorry for the uber giddy post, but I just had to share.

I hope you all are having a great week, so far… Even if today is only a Monday.

How is everyone? I have SO much catching up to do with your blogs, so fill me in!

~Hope

A Good Place

I know that I’ve already told you about my desire to be a mother and how it comes with it’s ups and downs.

Honestly? Right now, I’m in a good place.

We have a lot going on, right now – We are getting ready for a big (BIG) move. We are getting ready to finally sell the house that we are currently renting out. We are making some pretty big life changes, and that’s all good.

Maybe I’m just distracted by all that’s going on, but regardless… I’m good.

I know that it’ll happen in Gods perfect timing, and that timing will be WAY better than my own “now now now!” perspective. And I know that very day that passes means that I’ll appreciate the moment when it finally happens that much more.

I also know that the fact that we’re spending our time bettering hearts, our relationship, our health… It just puts us in an altogether better place for when it does finally happen and we do become parents.

There will absolutely be rough times. But right now… This is one of the good ones.

And I am eating it up as much as possible.

I promise to stay real with you. To share the tough times, just as I’m sharing the good ones (but probably with more detail).

In the meantime, I’m praying for those of you who are still waiting on your littles, like we are. I’m praying for those of you who aren’t at a point yet where you want littles. And I’m praying for those of you who don’t ever plan to have littles of your own and are good with just being you. Whichever stage you’re in, you are loved and you are valued.

Life is way too crazy to go it alone, so I’m glad you’ve chosen to share it with me. *Hugs

~Hope

The results: We’re Moving To…

The Great State of TEXAS!

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Unfortunately, there were no correct guesses, so we will have to try another contest sometime soon. 🙂

~Hope

Thankful Thursday

Today I am SO So thankful for…

Lasting Friendships.

I’ve been cleaning like crazy, this week (after slacking off for a bit longer than I’d like to admit), because tomorrow my GIRLIES are coming!!

I am so stoked and cannot WAIT to see them. This weekend is Girls’ Weekend, which means Studly will be hiding out in his man cave while myself and two of my dearest friends of over a decade will have full reign of the house! And before you judge me, please know that Studly is always more than welcome to hang with us, he just prefers to make himself scarce and give us lots of girl time without his interfering or overhearing something awkward.

Anywho, it’s going to be awesome! Have I mentioned that I’m psyched?! Because I tooootally am.

I hope to give you the full scoop of this weekend’s festivities, but for now… I’ve got to get this house cleaned up before they get here. Eek!

Seriously, though… I am so beyond grateful that God has blessed me with these (and several other) long-lasting and deep friendships. The word “friend” seems to mean different things to different people, theses days, but I’m so blessed that in our vocabulary, it truly means that we are genuinely 100% committed to loving and supporting each other! being our absolutely true selves, and allowing each other to hold us accountable and call us on our crap, even when it’s tough.

Today, I’m grateful for real, true friends.

What are you thankful for? Do you have a true friend or two? Tell me about them!

~Hope

Monday Monday

I’m a little late posting this… Seeing as how it’s almost Tuesday, but today has been a pretty blah day.

I’ve been sick most of the weekend, for some odd reason, so it was kind’ve a waste as far as getting anything done. Luckily, the East coast was hit with more snow (yay?) and we were given the day off of work, so I was able to get some more much needed rest, as well as getting a little laundry done.

Studly and I were both off work so we got to spend some time together, which was awesome. Unfortunately, that means that he will be working some longer hours this week to make up for today’s day off, so it was a little bittersweet. I feel like it was a great time for me… Getting to actually have a nice day to enjoy before going back to work, since sickness and sleep stole much of my weekend.

Anywho, this Monday was anything but typical for us, but all-in-all it was a good day. The downside is….. Having Mondays off always seems to make Tuesday that much harder to bare.

How about y’all – How was your Monday? Anyone else get a surprise day off thanks to one final snow?

And finally: is anyone else as done with this winter as I am?! Ugh!!

~ Hope

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