Monthly Archives: April 2014

Brain Dump

Oh hello there, future… When did you get here?!

How has it been so long since I last posted? Ah yes. Life happened.

So a lots been going on, lately, and I haven’t taken the time to post. Sorry, buds! I had my girls weekend a little while back, and then had to drive into the next state over for a baby shower the next weekend. I got one weekend to clean the house and catch-up on laundry before it was time for Easter, which involves a big get-together with my family, and that was immediately followed by having to show the house multiple times (meaning cleaning, cleaning, and more cleaning). It’s exhausting, and it’s not even our house! That part comes later…

So here I am… Trying to sort through all of the things that have been going on, lately, to fill you in and I realize that I’m waaayyyyy behind! I’ll do my best, but let’s be honest – it’d be near impossible to fill you in, now, without leaving anything out. I’ll work backwards, because that’s how my brain seemed to want to work today.

So begins the brain dump:

– I’m currently recovering from one of my favorite meals: steak, cheese potatoes, and asparagus. I loooove it, but I don’t think I’ll ever get used to the way that asparagus makes your pee stink for days. Blech!

– I’ve been spending most of my free time over the past week or so writing and trying to finish a song for a friend. She’s recording this Friday, so now I’m in a mega time-crunch, which is not easy for this perfectionist! I’m really loving this, and it’s definitely stretching me. It’s a different style and totally different genre than I’m used to writing, so I’m really hoping it doesn’t turn out lame or cheesy. *fingers crossed

– I still can’t seem to get the coordinator for our move to Texas to contact me. I’ve called, emailed, called again….. Nothing! No big deal, right? It’s just our life. 😐

– I got my newest Stitch Fix, today. I actually need to do an entire review on the forks you guys. I’ve had 3 “Fixes” now and can’t wait to share my thoughts and see if any of you have used it or considered it at all.

– Mothers Day is less than two weeks away. It’s traditionally a less-than-stellar time for many who struggle with infertility and I am no exception. To top it all off my baby sister is pregnant with the first baby of the family, so…. That should make of some interesting moments, for sure. I’ve kind’ve been feeling this fog trying to come down over me, lately, but I’ve been doing my best to keep myself upbeat, stay positive, and stay away from known “triggers”… Just trying to be smart, I guess. I’ve been doing well and still do feel like I’m in a good place, but that doesn’t mean that I won’t ever have a tough day or two. So I’m trying not to beat myself up if I feel it coming, but still want to try to remember that I can’t control the situation and that I’ll become a mom when the timing is absolutely perfect. Not before… Not after… But right on time.

– I started a book a few weeks back and it didn’t pull me in right away. I picked it up again this past weekend and was really into it up until the book took a weird turn. Now I’m trying not to just put it down and move on because it could get better again, right? But still…. I hate it when that happens.

– I’ve been thinking about starting a series of posts about things I plan/hope to teach my children. If nothing else, it’d be awesome to be able to look back on them sometime, right? To gauge my success or compare what I thought to what I’d make a priority when the time actually comes. What do you think?

Anywho, I know that I’ve left things out! but this’ll have to do for now. I’ll update when I remember more and won’t wait so long to post again. There just WAY too much going on to let that happen.

In fact, I think I may start calling this the year of Hope! 😛

~Hope

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Good Ole Doctor G

I guess it’s time for a little update on the babymaker.

But before I begin, you should just know that this is one of those “Bonus Information” kind of posts… so consider yourself warned.

So I had to get a few tests run again last week.

I haven’t had a cycle since December, and since it’s April… well… it was long overdue.

Fun fact: If you go too long without having a period, the lining of your uterus can get to a point where it’s potentially precancerous, so it’s important not to ignore the issue. Before doing anything crazy, the doctor will check the thickness of the lining, probably by ultrasound.

In my case, this is definitely not the first time this has happened. And having PCOS makes me more likely to skip cycles, since my eggs tend to hang around the ovaries, attach themselves, and become cysts. (Apparently my ovaries are of the LaZBoy variety… Why else wouldn’t they want to leave, right?!)

Anywho, I called my OBGYN to chat about it and left a message with the nurse. I really just expected a call saying that I needed to go back on Metformin or go through a cycle of progesterone, again, but they actually said that I needed to come in and that Dr. G had made time for me just a few days later.

This is a good time to mention that I love my doctor. Loooooove him. It took many many years and into the double digits of doctors before finding someone that talked with me and not just at me. Someone who trusted my background and knowledge of the subjects at hand, based on my work at a pregnancy clinic and volunteering in the L&D ward at a local hospital. Someone who didn’t scoff, roll an eye when I said that I was still a virgin at 19 (when I finally found him), and go in for an “inspection” at full throttle before realizing I wasn’t lying and toning it down several notches (youch!). Someone who didn’t ask me 19 different ways if I was at all sexually active, to include the “extra-curricular versions” of the term itself.

Side rant: It’s seriously soooo so so important to like your OBGYN. You need to have a doctor that you trust and with whom you can discuss your situation and treatment options. And I’m fortunate enough to have a phenomenal doctor that I recommend to anyone and everyone. I’ve been seeing him for something like 8+ years and wish he’d move with us so that I didn’t have to go through finding a doctor again. (waaaaaahhhhh!!)

Back to the nitty gritty.

I went to my appointment, still thinking that I’d walk out with a prescription for Metformin or progesterone again. But instead, Dr. G and I had a good talk about not just the current situation, but also about Studly and I’s TTC journey. He asked how I was doing… not just how I was doing. I really appreciated that, since it’s not necessarily something that a lot of doctors do. I also told him about our upcoming move and how that could effect things. We talked about what we’d tried in the past, treatment plans for both the lack-of-cycle issue and TTC, and on the way out he made some jokes about the Great State of Texas before telling me he was happy for us and that we’d love it there. All in all in was a good visit. I walked out with orders to get my TSH (thyroid) and HCG (pregnancy) levels checked again, as well as an ultrasound of my ovaries and endometrial lining (both a pelvic and a transvaginal… blech). So basically, my 30 minute appointment turned into an all-day affair.

Lucky for me it was all sunshine and rainbows. Well… There weren’t a ton of rainbows, but it really was a beautiful, sunny day. So the wait between appointments wasn’t so painful, in the end. 😉

Anywho, 2 short days later I got the call with all of my test results, and to my surprise it was actually Dr. G that called to deliver the info, not a nurse like I’d actually expected. (Have I mentioned that I love this doctor?!). Everything came back as expected – TSH was normal, HCG was negative, and my endometrium was thicker than would be ideal, so I was going to do a round of progesterone to kick start a cycle.

Well, I started the progesterone on Friday and now I’m just waiting for the desired effect. Shouldn’t take too long… at least that’s typically how things work with my body (excluding only one time, that is).

At the appointment, we also talked about future plans, such as whether or not I’d take Metformin again. We discussed my experience when we attempted a round of Clomid a few years back (no thank you) and his suggestion to try injectables over Clomid if we wanted another go in the future, since they can be more easily regulated day-to-day than the Clomid can (which means fewer, less-intense side-effects, thankthegoodLord).

So I’ll have to give you the scoop on our past attempt with Clomid, as well as the low down on everything else we’ve attempted while TTC… and even the things we’ve opted not to try, on our journey. But alas, that’s it for now.

What’ve you guys been up to? Feeling healthy these days? Do you like your OBGYN or any of your other doctors? Spill!

~ Hope

The Waiting Game

So another Monday is upon us. And even for someone, like myself, who loves their job… It can be daunting. So I’ll just say it –

I’m pooped.

When’s the next 3-day weekend, anyway?

In all seriousness, I had a CRAZY busy weekend and I just wish I had one more day to catch my breath before going back to the grind.

On top of just being outright pooped, I just feel like I’m stuck in a kind of limbo. We are still waiting to hear about the official move date and everyday is so full of possibilities, only to be another disappointment come evening.

I’m trying not to be too anxious, but I just wish we had our final date. We know it’s happening, but frankly… The undefined timeline is driving me batty!! Even if they were to say something like November 1st, I think I’d be cool with it at this point. Okay, not really… I’d be super bummed, but at least them I could make it work or plan something around it.

I just feel like it’s all still so up in the air, right now, and I’m soooo looking forward to nailing down some specifics. And with Studly’s company still trying to find him a position, I just don’t want things to get all cockamamy and stressful, or right down to the wire.

But this is life, right? Unpredictable and full of surprises.

Pray for us, please. It’s tough being stuck in limbo with something you’ve wanted for so long being dangled and bounced around in front of us. Ugh.

Come ooonnnnnn Texas!!

~Hope

A Good Place

I know that I’ve already told you about my desire to be a mother and how it comes with it’s ups and downs.

Honestly? Right now, I’m in a good place.

We have a lot going on, right now – We are getting ready for a big (BIG) move. We are getting ready to finally sell the house that we are currently renting out. We are making some pretty big life changes, and that’s all good.

Maybe I’m just distracted by all that’s going on, but regardless… I’m good.

I know that it’ll happen in Gods perfect timing, and that timing will be WAY better than my own “now now now!” perspective. And I know that very day that passes means that I’ll appreciate the moment when it finally happens that much more.

I also know that the fact that we’re spending our time bettering hearts, our relationship, our health… It just puts us in an altogether better place for when it does finally happen and we do become parents.

There will absolutely be rough times. But right now… This is one of the good ones.

And I am eating it up as much as possible.

I promise to stay real with you. To share the tough times, just as I’m sharing the good ones (but probably with more detail).

In the meantime, I’m praying for those of you who are still waiting on your littles, like we are. I’m praying for those of you who aren’t at a point yet where you want littles. And I’m praying for those of you who don’t ever plan to have littles of your own and are good with just being you. Whichever stage you’re in, you are loved and you are valued.

Life is way too crazy to go it alone, so I’m glad you’ve chosen to share it with me. *Hugs

~Hope

The results: We’re Moving To…

The Great State of TEXAS!

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Unfortunately, there were no correct guesses, so we will have to try another contest sometime soon. 🙂

~Hope

The HIMYM Finale [*Spoilers*] and FWBL

Just in case you have a preview pane setup…

**SPOILERS**

**SPOILERS**

**SPOILERS**

It’s officially over. The 9 long seasons of How I Met Your Mother were phenomenal. Among other things, I feel like I said goodbye to 5 close friends on Monday.

Is that super cheesy?! It may be, but it’s still true.

Studly and I have watched this show from Day 1. Well… I did, and then he starting watching it with me after we got married, by first catching up online.

Well, let’s get down to it and talk about the finale, shall we?

WHAT THE HECK?!

We spent the entire final season just on the weekend of Barney and Robin’s wedding, only to have them get divorced like 10 minutes into the final episode of the series? SERIOUSLY?! How is that okay? MAJOR disappointment. (*saluting* Maaaaajor Disappointment)

And frankly, I thought for sure that eventually Robin and Barney would reconcile and raise his little girl, Ellie, together. Am I the only one? They were both an absolute mess, but… Somehow they were great together. And their reason for divorce was absolutely ridiculous. Right?! Ugh.

And can we talk about the ending already?! First of all, I canNOT believe the mother got terminally ill and died, and we got nothing but the cliff notes version! Ugh ugh ugh!! There was no glimpse of anyone mourning the loss… of the friends all being there, helpful and supportive when it happened… or of the children being there. I mean… I get that it’s a comedy at the end of the day, but they could’ve given us SOMETHING to go on. Even IF we didn’t really get the chance to know her character all that much, you could tell that she was indeed the perfect girl for Ted and that he truly loved her, and she him.

But then they went a ruined it further. So he finishes telling the kids the story of how they met, although she’s barely in the story at all, and then the kids call him on the awkward-but-true fact that it’s more about Robin than their own mother. Umm… Is that at all realistic?! Cringeworthy. As a fan, I really don’t like how they ultimately had Ted back together with Robin. I can appreciate the way they brought their first relationship back into it – with the blue French horn, and her in her apartment alone with all of her pet dogs, but it don’t like it at all. She always put her career before everything – friends, relationships, family – and even after that was the reason for her divorce and she seemed to still love Ted and feel like she should’ve ended up with him… It actually happened?! Not cool. She didn’t deserve him. The hopeless romantic, always forgiving, nice-guy Ted with two kids and a late wife… NO MA’AM!!

And Secondly, I have to vent about Ted and Tracy’s relationship. I get that she got pregnant, so their original wedding plans weren’t quite going to work, but… Hopeless romantic Ted finally finds his DREAM girl, and instead of marrying her sooner than planned, he waits like 10 years?! I thought for SURE that they’d get married sooner, with a super small ceremony of just the friends and maybe the families, at that same B&B where most of their relationship seemed to unfold in the flash-forwards throughout the season.

Ugh again!!

But now I have to share my other theories. As a fan, I looooved loved loved the final episode, and I thought that it made up for the entirety of the final season in what it incorporated as the ending to an epic television series. I’m a huge fan of the series and felt very invested – WAY more than I ever should’ve been (which is why I cried, then laughed, then cried, then screamed at the tv, then cried and cried and cried again). But I understand that there is more involved here.

So let’s address that, shall we?!

I’m going to transition to a completely different perspective – for lack of a better description: the Literary Perspective.

From a completely less-invested point of view, where I don’t let my emotions (inflamed as they were) really hinder me, I can honestly say that from a writing perspective… Ted and Robin ending up together in the end was actually genius and made perfect sense.

Don’t shoot me.

Think about it…

The entire story that was shared throughout the show… how he met their mother… began when he met Robin. Not in high school, or college, or any other completely random time in his life, as a journey of such length easily could, but it began when he met her.

And all throughout the series, there was a high level of emphasis placed on Robin’s life and relationships, even outside of Ted and more so than any of the other characters. It really was more like a kind of foreshadowing than anything else.

However…

All of this aside, as a fan, I still wasn’t happy with how it ended. I think they should’ve done one of two things:
1) Left the Robin situation to our imaginations. Even if they’d had the kids say something, which wasn’t my cup of tea, they could’ve just let you imagine them getting back together. Maybe a little shot of Ted blushing and denying it, with just sort of a pensive look on his face, or something to say he was slightly considering it.
2) Ended the show with them talking at the train station. This is my favorite option, and totally gets my vote. When they first started talking and the camera left off on both of them smiling as it panned out… How GREAT of an ending would that have been?! He’s telling the story of how they met, and it ends with exactly that. Sweet as pie and with plenty of closure.

Aahhh closure. The elusive feeling that none of us were able to experience with this finale. Though I’ll always love this show, and will gladly watch reruns over and over, there’s still a big part of me that wishes this was a huuuge April Fools joke.

And that brings me to FWBL.

I’m not sure whether or not it was their intention to bank on us needing a distraction from the finale of HIMYM, but it worked. I literally took like 10 minutes just to try and process what happened, as well as vent back and forth with Studly and some girlfriends on Facebook, and then started the pilot episode of Friends With Better Lives.

It was pretty funny. It’s no replacement for HIMYM by any means, and I don’t think that’s their overarching intention (it wouldn’t be wise, if it was), but it wasn’t terrible.

I certainly laughed. I’m a sucker for a good pun… Or even a bad one, for that matter… And James VanDerBeek’s character was chock full of them. The characters were mostly funny (though I’m least a fan of Brooklyn Deckers’s character and her fiancé, the weird hipster Australian restaurateur. ????) and I look forward to seeing several more episodes and how they develop everyone and their friendships with soooo much going on.

All-in-all, I think it’ll be good for at least a season or two, though it won’t last too long unless they really give the show some guts and don’t force it as much as they did in the first episode (which I get is necessary for a pilot).

Anywho, it’ll be a long while before I get as invested in a show as I have been with HIMYM (if it ever happens again… I was a tad crazypants, if I’m honest), but again – I still feel like its one of the best sitcoms in a very long time. It’s almost crazy to look back at how much has changed in my own life since the show actually started, and maybe that’s why I was so attached. As each of the characters went through different seasons of their fictional lives, so did I… and at some point along the way, I found myself relating to each one of them at different times, as crazy as that may sound.

Alright, well… That’s my take on everything. What about you – Did you watch HIMYM? What’d you think about the finale, or the series as a whole? And did you catch the pilot episode of FWBL? Are there any other shows you may have related to or become super invested in over the years? Like Dexter or Game of Thrones, perhaps?

Spill the beans so that I don’t feel like the only crazypants out there!

~Hope

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