Dear Birthmom

You don’t know me right now.  In fact, there’s a chance that you may never know me.  And that’s okay.

Right now you could be anywhere.  You could be sitting in a restaurant laughing with friends or loved ones.  You may be alone somewhere… by yourself.  You may not be pregnant, yet, or even close to becoming pregnant.

But at some point in your future, your life will change dramatically.  And it will happen very quickly.

The next thing you know, you’ll be part of a story that you never intended to be a part of.

And that story will lead you to me.

I can’t imagine what your life will be like during these hard times.  I wouldn’t even begin to pretend that I am able to understand your life and your situation… but I can promise you that I will try my best to be understanding.  I will not judge you.  I will not hold any ill feelings toward you.  Because through your great struggle, you will bring an end to mine.

You see, I’ve wanted to be a mom for as long as I can remember.  When other young girls thought of future careers, I never counted one out, but I always thought of the children that I would raise and the man who I would raise them with.  I’m not one to obsess over the idea of motherhood, but it’d be a lie to say anything other than the truth – that it is never far from my mind.

I’ve watched many women go through situations similar to yours, though I know better than to say they were the same.  And I’ve also known many women to go through situations similar to mine.  There’s no normal way to be in either of our shoes.  And yet we are both here.

Two women on opposite sides of a great struggle.  Within those struggles we will one day become liked together… and we will be linked together for the rest of our lives.

I don’t know what that story will look like for us or how much a part of each others lives we will be from that day forward, but I will never be able to truly express to you how grateful I am for your journey.

You did not plan for this, and this decision will be one of the hardest decisions you will ever make in your life, but choosing to place your child with an adoptive family… with us… will be one of the happiest days of my life.

On the day that you become a mother, you will make the most selfless decision a person can make… and on that day, you will make me a mother.

Nothing will change your status as a mother when you make this decision – no one can take that from you.  And you will do with that whatever you wish.  But on the day that you make me a mother, you will be making my family whole.  This is something that I will never be able to forget.  Because with you… without this great struggle… we wouldn’t be just that – a family.

Until that day… the day that we both become mothers… I will pray for you.

The journey before this day is one that neither of us can imagine.  It will be hard.  It will be harder than hard.  And there will be times where you want to make a different decision.  Times where you will want this to end differently.  Sooner.  And on those days, I pray that you find an overwhelming and unexpected peace.

Today I thought of where you might be.  And the truth is, based on typical timelines, you are probably far from the day when you will become pregnant.  And even further from the day that you choose to give us the gift of parenting and raising your child…. and make them ours.  But on this day, I pray that you feel joy.  I hope that you are somewhere safe… and warm.  And that you are happy.  The strength that you will need to get through this great struggle will come from somewhere deep within you, and that strength will grow from days like today until the day that our lives become linked.

So right now, more than anything, I wish you nothing but happiness.  Because one day… that is exactly what you will bring us.

~Hope